Johnlock?
by Rousdower
Summary: John and Sherlock discover that there is a ship name for them... Their reactions are... unexpected. Probably not what you think... ;)
1. John's Morning Shock

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. I wish I did. And I may someday. But as of yet, nope.**

Dr. John Watson's morning began like any other.

A cup of coffee, a delicious plate of freshly cooked breakfast, and his lovely wife seated opposite him, reading the newspaper she habitually steals from him. This was his favorite part of the day, these quiet hours in the morning.

And then the unexpected happened.

Something that never happened at this time in the morning.

Mary Watson spat out her coffee and almost fell out of her chair in fits of hysterical laughter.

John slowly set his cup down and stared at her, feeling utterly bewildered. Mary continued laughing, slapping the table occasionally.

"M-Mary?" John said cautiously, testing the waters. Wondering if she had somehow lost it.

Mary ignored him, unable to answer due to her cackling. After about two and a half minutes, she attempted choking out something that resembled words. Unfortunately, John was unable to comprehend.

Mary shook her head, the tears rolling down her red face. She weakly flapped the newspaper.

"I… I don't follow," John said slowly. "Mary… are you… are you alright?"

Mary shook her head and flapped the paper again, slowly sliding off of her seat onto the floor, collapsing into a crumpled pile of hysterical laughter.

John slowly eased out of his chair and went to kneel besides his laughing wife.

"Mary… Mary please. You're scaring me…" he plead weakly.

Mary sucked in a breath. "The paper… look at the paper John." And she dissolved into giggles again.

John picked up the newspaper and read the article that Mary started pointing wildly at.

_THE COUPLE EVERYONE SHIPS._

_JOHNLOCK._

_Detective Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson are two of the most renowned men in Britain, their fame still spreading to countries such as America. There has been much speculation about whether the two investigators are involved in a romantic relationship or not, but there have been multiple alleged sightings of the two sharing intimate moments._

_Several of Mr. Holmes' supporters fervently wish that this rumor was true. They have even gone as far as to give this dynamic duo a 'ship' name. Johnlock. _

_Even without any conclusive arguments, we believe it is safe to assume that these men are in a serious relationship, as this picture proves._

_{Picture of John and Sherlock with their arms around each others shoulders}_

John stared at the offending newspaper; shocked, speechless, his wife still rolling around in fits of hysterical laughter, occasionally choking out the random, "Johnlock."

"B-but… they are totally disregarding the fact I'm married! Isn't that enough? Johnlock.. this is ridiculous! I am calling Mycroft!" John finally found the words and started fuming.

"I should buy you a shirt that clearly states that you are not gay," Mary chuckled. "I can see it! A white shirt with big black words! Not. Gay." She squealed enthusiastically before collapsing into more giggles.

"Mary. This is not funny. Not funny. Not. Funny," John fumed. A sudden thought seemed to strike Mary and she hauled herself up and towards the large window to their right.

"Ohhhh darling… there are reporters! You should go give a comment!" she exclaimed, before sliding down the wall, laughing hopelessly.

John took a deep breath in through his nose before huffing down the stairs, flinging open the door- ignoring his bathrobe- and grabbed the nearest microphone.

"NOT. GAY."

**A/N Sup chickens. Just an idea I had, it's not very good :P LOL... I couldn't get it out of my head though... ^_^**


	2. Sherlock's Irritation

Sherlock was there for one thing and one thing alone.

An eyeball.

He strode into the morgue, his coat flapping dramatically behind him. He expected Molly to be performing an autopsy or… whatever it is she does here. _Something_ productive.

Not lounging in a chair, drinking coffee and reading the morning paper with a big grin on her face.

He froze.

He had an unidentifiable feeling.

This feeling told him he wouldn't be getting that eyeball anytime soon.

Molly glanced up and smiled cheekily at him. "Morning Sherlock!" After that she totally ignored him. Ignored the fact that he was standing two feet away. Ignored the fact that he looked irked.

He suddenly felt even more irked.

"Molly," he said slowly, carefully. He _needed_ this eyeball. "I require an eyeball." He really tried to be polite. Hopefully it was convincing.

"Fresh out Sherlock. Sorry," she chirped, looking even more chipper than usual. "By the way, Sherlock, have you seen the paper yet?" She giggled a little after this, almost spilling her coffee. Sherlock gave her a baffled look.

"Of course not. Waste of time," he sniffed, jutting his chin out.

"Oh, well." Molly set it down on the desk, along with her coffee, pulling herself up and sauntering by. "You might want to give it a look." She tittered a little, before exiting in the direction of the lab.

Sherlock stared after her, feeling profoundly baffled.

Why should he read the paper? It is a dull, insipid thing, full of the useless ramblings and celebratory nonsense of the social media and the city idiots. Who cares about who got married? Who cares what the sport scores are? Who cares who the new general of Her Majesty's Imperial Forces is? It's probably Mycroft anyways. The only place Sherlock ever looked was the obituaries column. Otherwise, he was thoroughly disinterested.

He tried to ignore the paper sitting there, goading him into reading it, but eventually, temptation won out.

He picked it up and found himself slightly appalled at what was presented before him. Letting out an indignant scoff, he tossed the paper back onto the desk and marched after Molly.

Bursting into the lab, he said petulantly, "I fail to see how this is amusing."

Molly burst into giggles. "Sherlock… it just is."

"No it's not."

"Yes it is."

"No it's not."

"Yes it is."

"This conversation is a waste of my time. The innuendoes of my acquaintances were one thing, this is an entirely different field."

Molly dissolved into more laughter.

Sherlock huffed and strode out of the lab, flouncing out of the hospital entrance.

He strode right into a small crowd of reporters. How they knew he was there escaped him.

"Is this report of a romantic relationship between Dr. Watson and yourself true?"

Sherlock scoffed. "Of course not. He's married."

"But that doesn't mean you aren't still pining after him," the reporter said smugly.

Sherlock thought fast. What could possibly get him out of this. These insipid reporters thought they knew everything. He doesn't _pine_. And he does NOT feel that way about John. Why do they always assume he and John are gay? He was starting to understand John's frustration; he even found himself wanting to yell out, 'Not gay' as loud as humanly possible. Suddenly, a lightbulb went off.

"I have a... girlfriend."

There was a collective silence.

Then a reporter to the left spoke two dreaded words.

"Prove it."

Sherlock was prepared, however.

Whipping his phone out, he sent two texts.

_Come to the south entrance, it's an emergency. - SH_

_Play along. - SH_

He pocketed his phone and looked smugly at the reporters surrounding him. Two minutes later, the door behind them banged open and Molly burst out, breathing heavily.

"Sherlock, I got here as qui-" Molly froze upon seeing the reporters.

"This is my… girlfriend." Sherlock bit back a sneer at the pathetic pseudonym and gestured to Molly with a sweep of his hand.

Molly's mouth fell open.

The reporters descended.

**A/N So there we go. Thanks to all my reviewers! Lily Lindsey-Aubrey, Icecat62, Wunderkind4006, Sassiebone. Lovly melody, thank you haha. She mentioned a Mycroft chapter? Does anybody else want one?**

**#JeSuiCharlie**

**Pass it around my friends. We can not let this go unnoticed! Post it on your profiles, in your reviews!**


	3. Mycroft Bonus

Mycroft smirked as he looked down at the paper's headlines. "Brother dear, you certainly have gotten yourself in quite a predicament," he said to no-one in particular.

Mycroft picked up his phone, which had just buzzed with a text.

_Did you have anything to do with this? -SH_

Mycroft's smirk grew.

_No brother mine, you have brought this upon yourself. -MH_

_I don't believe you. - SH_

_Think what you will, Sherlock. -MH_

Mycroft opened the middle left drawer of his desk and drew out a container.

"Are you hungry Arthur?"

No answer. Though Mycroft supposed that was typical of a goldfish…

His task was interrupted by his phone ringing. Looking at the ID, Mycroft rolled his eyes.

"Hello John. No. As I already told my dear brother, you have brought this upon yourselves. No. Well, you need to think your disguises over more carefully. I'm sorry John, but I'm not going to do anything about this. No John. From the sounds of it, Mary is quite tickled."

Mycroft smirked again when John hung up on him, that man was so funny… He frowned down at his phone when it started ringing again, and then quickly paled.

"Hello mummy. No mummy. No, I believe it was for a case. No, Sherlock is _not_ gay mummy. Yes, it is quite relieving. Yes he should have thought that over. No, you didn't mummy. Listen, I have to go now, I'm working. Yes I know I'm always working… no mummy. I love you too." Mycroft wrinkled his nose as he hung up.

He should have expected this. Mycroft sighed as he recommenced feeding his Alfred. His brother needed to really think his disguises over more.

But, it's not his problem.

Mycroft dusted his hands off and picked his umbrella up. "Well Alfred, I have a terrorist to apprehend."

Alfred stared blankly.

**A/N And there we go, the end of the story- finis- blah blah blah!**

**Thanks to- **

**Sassiebone, KkGgINoU, ShadowCatMage, Hack Generation and you followers and favoriters!**

**Now I have to pry my stupid cat off my arm. -_-**

**Rousdower out_**


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